When Others Frustrate You – The Gift

The faults I see in others are a reflection of my own being, giving me a chance to see myself.

As I ready myself for this year’s experience and facilitation of the International Black Summit (Summit) in Alabama, I find myself increasingly passionate about what I want to give the world. With all this passion jumping around inside my body, I was really excited about participating on a teleconference, led by Kat, a Summit facilitator who for me is the epitome of world class facilitation.

Unfortunately, I have not been able to access the conference calls, due to a block by my Canadian telephone service provider. So, like an unthinking bull dog, I took to my keyboard and barked my dissatisfaction to all facilitators.

Here are the snarky thoughts, which were plaguing me. “‘They (meaning my American counterparts) are excluding others. They need to come up with a conference number that works for the world, if they want the world to be a part of their organization!” Once I recognized this segregating thought and its ugliness, I was able to recognize my exclusion of others.

One thing I became conscious of through the Summit, is that when I begin to pull my hair out because of frustration with a fault I think I see in someone else, that fault is in ME. Therefore the question for me was:  ‘how and where have I been excluding others in my life.’

The answer is, I had separated myself  by speaking of the inability to access the conference call as a Dawn problem as opposed to a Summit opportunity. In addition, I was passionate about accessing a learning opportunity, from which I felt blocked; as a result, my sharply critical and blaming communications came off like a skunk, and drove others away.

With this new insight percolating inside me, I spoke to a representative from the March of Dimes (MOD) about possibilities for using web conferencing to enhance MOD’s employment and peer-support programs. My focus was on working with others at MOD to enhance their existing programs. It was not about me, and it was an optimistic and inclusive conversation. The representative shared what they were up to regarding virtual support, gave me 3 contact names with emails, and asked me to keep her informed.

Already different things are starting to show up in my life. For the 2013 Summit, I am declaring my commitment to working with other facilitators to ensure the Summit’s communication efforts are accessible internationally.  I have no problem. We have an opportunity.

What about you? Is there something you are finding fault with or complaining about? Ask yourself if that fault or issue is within you? Don’t answer quickly. Take time to reflect; a day or more if you need to. What do you see? What is the opportunity?


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