Last Saturday, my sister and her husband graciously treated me, my daughter and her father to a day at Lake Compounce amusement park in Bristol, Connecticut. I was excited, particularly for my 10-year-old daughter, Shani. However, I knew I could not go on any “crazy” rides, as I was cautioned that the stress could lead to another stroke and even death.
Shani was ecstatic. Her dad took her on the dreaded roller coaster, she played games with her aunt (who won her a stuffed animal), and much more. After a few hours, the adults were getting tired. Shani, however, like a Duracell battery was still yearning for more.
We saw the very innocent looking ‘Enterprise’ ride. I agreed to enjoy this one ride with her. As we approached our rocket looking cubicle, I began to get a feeling of utter dread. But it seemed too embarrassing to yell for a replacement partner for Shani. So I apprehensively shut myself in the little cubicle, with Shani seated between my legs.
It did not take long before the ride started. I could not tell you how we were moving. I can only tell you I felt fear like never before. My head, my brain, felt as though it was being torn apart, while my whole body was being tossed around at unimaginable speed.
I screamed, but not the fun scream that I imagine Shani was doing. I screamed in absolute horror. I felt terror I had never felt before, and was sure I had put myself on the path of another stroke. ‘I have to get out,’ screamed my mind. Yet I knew I would only get off, dead or alive, when this ‘Enterprise’ nightmare was over. That would not be for a couple of minutes, and I needed to save myself now!
Then I heard in my mind, “be with what is, and see the gift,” a part of the International Black Summit declaration for this year. It felt like a command from God. It reminded me that ‘what is’ is that this Enterprise ride was meant to be fun, not to harm me. All my fears were based on projections into the future, the imminent stroke I imagined I was causing. I knew then that the explosion of my head, was really the explosion of my fearful thoughts. So I knew that I had to smile and enjoy.
The next thing I know is that I was in a state of near relaxation and peace. Perhaps a couple of minutes later, the ride was over and I wobbled off, as it took a minute to regain my balance and equilibrium. The good news is that I was perfectly fine.
So what was the gift? I really got a deeper understanding of what it is to ‘be with what is.’ I was healthy and happy; yet I became emotionally traumatized and on the verge of sickness, or worse, because of my minds projections, which was based solely on fear. At first, I did not think to focus on what was real, my health, happiness and divine guidance. It was not until I ditched the lie and engulfed myself with the truth that I found the gift of peace and liberation from my fears.
Being with what is, is my gift to liberating myself from my imagined fears and finding the gift of all that I have in the moment. I am not about to go on any crazy amusement park rides, in the future. Still, if I make the mistake of releasing such brutal fears again, I know I am equipped to battle this demon.
Even more of a gift is the message that I can do more that I allow myself, due to fear of stress. ‘What is’ is that I am getting better and better. I must be with that reality of today, and not a few years ago when I needed to be far more cautious.
I wonder, how many, like me, are living with the fears and limitations of the past, as opposed to the reality of today?