For the first time, I am able to admit an awful truth! Over the last few years, I have often felt old, ugly, and a failure. Following my stroke, I awoke to the disheartening fact that I was not only disabled, but perhaps more tragic, I was getting old!
I received a wonderful aha moment when I watched the movie ‘The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel’, which was about a group of retirees, who moved to India to save money, and end up finding amazing new life! I listened over and over again to the character Evelyn, as she spoke the magical words which follow, and I felt as though she was speaking directly to me.
There is no past that we can bring back by longing for it, only a present that creates and builds itself as the past withdraws.
As those words seeped inside my being, I became like the characters in the movie, for I too was finding new life. I began to willingly let go of my past, my youthful strength and physical attractiveness, and I found myself like a piece of vacant land, cleared of its vigorous trees, ready for the building of some great creation. Among my building materials were the post-stroke gifts I found in myself, acceptance, faith, forgiveness, selflessness and vulnerability.
I am creating the acceptance of me. I am building the emergence of true beauty, wisdom and strength amidst age and vulnerability!