Category Archives: Soft Skills

Could Your Worst Enemy Possibly Be You?

In my recently published book, I wrote about my enemy manager, who made my life a living hell. She was cruel and tossed me out like a dirty dish cloth. What I didn’t know was that she was mirroring me!

I did not want to admit it, but her arrival meant that I was no longer seen as the best on my team. I wanted her to fail. Whenever she was around me, my  disrespectful and hypocritical energy consumed me, like smoke around a forest fire.  My ego needed to prove that she was not my superior, and in fact was the very opposite.

In my story, Rising Like a Phoenix: When Life cuts You Off at the Knees, I saw how I disrespected her and was disrespected by her, how I hated her and was hated by her. When I saw my own insolence, as shown in chapter 4, she could no longer be my villain. She became my angel. Her presence in my life helped me to see that when I am hate, I create hate in my life. If I want love, I must be love.

It was a blessing to see the evil in me, so I can forgive the evil in others and create a better me. What about you? Can you see the people in your life you believe to be bad or evil? Can you see how they represent you? Can you forgive them and in turn forgive yourself? What would that give to you?

What Everyone Ought to Know About Rising Up

Zumba demonstration
Zumba demonstration

There was a time when I would be in front of an aerobics or dance exercise class, proudly matching the instructor with my high-level, high-energy moves. Now, as my stroke-altered body try to follow a Zumba class, I feel like a rhythm-challenged individual; moving in ways I once arrogantly found so humorous.

Instead of doing a whole lot of praying, and hoping for the day when I can again be the dancer I used to be, I had to let my body thrive where it is, and find its own awkward rhythm. Often times my right foot is so heavy, I can barely pick it up off the ground. During these times, I have learned to firmly plant my feet on the ground and joyfully move my uninhibited hips and upper body to the beat of the thumping music.

It took being knocked down to awaken my spirit, and experience what it truly means to rise above the limitations of the body and experience joy. We all have to love ourselves at whatever place we are, in order to rise up and live life now!

Sometime You Need to Acknowledge What’s In Front of You In Order To Move Forward

front cover -c-blogIt’s not easy achieving what we want; and not because of the amount of work we have to do. We struggle because we are so focused on the end product, we don’t acknowledge the gifts right in front of us.

I didn’t have the money, people resources or faith required to get the collaboration needed to finish my book. It wasn’t until I began to have faith, opened my mouth and focused my thoughts that a force beyond me interceded, and the right people came. Content, editing, art, and layout support were lovingly contributed by  Melissa, Rob, Alexis, Ashley, Ashante and Scott. I needed to acknowledge these amazing gifts and givers before taking the next step forward.

The book is finally set to be released next week! For now, I am sharing the front cover and a draft of the back cover. I would love to hear your thoughts.

back-cover=blog

Do you know what makes you special?

majesty roseYesterday, my favourite contestant on American Idol, Majesty Rose, got eliminated. She left us all with a powerful lesson about remembering what makes us special.

When she first came on the show, she showed off a quiet and angelic voice. Her sweet tone, which was like no other, was memorizing. As a result, she was listed among the favourites.

Three weeks ago, she must have decided that to win, she had to compete with the big voices of the other contestants. Each week I would go back, hoping to hear her angelic gift, once again. She would show it for a little; but never stopped trying to match everyone else. While everyone else got better at being who they were, she got worst at being who she was. She didn’t know the value of her special gift. As a result, her journey on the show ended.

I too forgot my specialness, and tried to be like everyone else. As a result, I nearly lost my life. Now I focus on doing what I love, and with love. I write, speak and lead from my heart, regardless of what others may think. It was knowing what made me special, that enabled me to write my book. Check out these comments from my editor.

What about you, do you know what makes you special? Are you sharing your specialness with the world?

Sometimes We Just Need to Slow Down

Sometimes we do everything we can to finish a project; yet there is always something stopping us.  In cases like this, life may just be showing us that we need to slow down or ease-up, to see the gift it is offering.

This is the case with the book I’ve been trying to complete forever! I posted the cover. A trusted friend said the cover needed improvement; so he referred me to another gentleman, who has experience in graphics and layout. After going over my book, that man told me “you’re not done yet!”

In setting a mood for my story, he noticed my strong desire, yet minimal effort, to include graphics and visual art. Real art work is something I had avoided because I have petty much no talent for drawing. Plus, I made it up that it was hard to find someone to do it, and this would slow me down!

I finally realized that I had to slow down, for this amazing story I am telling is not my story! I only had to see that I was not alone, decide that I really wanted quality art and layout, and reach for what I wanted, for the people I needed to show up. 

This experience helped me realize that this is a story of the many people, with whom I joyously serve, and spread love throughout the world. It is the story of the artist, the editors, and many others who are on my team; people who are helping me tell our story to the very best of my ability. It is a story of the divine force that have taken me where I am, and give me a reason for living, for creating. 

I am now looking at early April for our completion date. Regardless, the date is not all that important, for I have slowed down to enjoy these finishing stages and the awesome people with whom I am taking this journey.

Who are you?

People will be miserable, they will be selfish,  and they will be arrogant. Yet, if we look closely, we will see that they are telling us who we are.

This morning I went with my mother to the Lab to get my regular blood work done. We met a friendly Guyanese lady who talked who am Iincessantly about her dislike for Sri Lankans. She jokingly gave examples of those she experienced, who she described as  miserable and always fighting among each other. My mother and I noticed her prejudice. Yet, immediately afterwards my mother went to the super market and came back complaining about the selfishness of Chinese shoppers. A Chinese lady, she said, was grabbing up all the discounted Papayas. I am no different, for I have had to battle my own negative stereotypes against what I called ‘arrogant’ African-Americans.

Each time we discriminate against others, we are saying a lot about who we are, and our perceived need to lift ourselves up from beneath others. However, by loving and forgiving others, we can more easily love and forgive ourselves. By seeing their beauty, we can see our own beauty.

The whole world changes when we can see ourselves as more than or above no one, as less than or beneath no one. The whole world changes when we can see ourselves as perfectly imperfect, like everyone.

Are your actions setting you up to hit the right target?

aimAre you seriously aiming for what you want? I am not referring to what you say you want, but what your committed actions say you’re targeting!

Before my stroke, I would have said I was aiming to retain the comfort and ease of my well-paying job as a training consultant. Yet it didn’t take a fool to see that my intense dislike and sometimes defiance of my boss, were revealing my true aim, which was trouble!!

Becoming a  People Builder

Today, my chief aim is to be a true people builder. Thus every day, I do something towards my book/course, Me and Napoleon Hill, which reveals various laws, practices and processes forpb logo succeeding by truly aiming at creating a life doing what we love. This is my gift back to the world, for I have experienced it all, through my miraculous healing and intellectual achievements over the last 6 years, as I rose from a near lethal stroke.

With gratitude, I can say that a few results affirm that my words and actions are lining up to manifest my true aim. First, I received authorization from the Napoleon Foundation to share significant excerpts from “The Law of Success in Sixteen Lessons,” which was a resource for Hill’s timeless classic “Think and Grow Rich.”

Second, and the most exiting reason for me, is that the success laws and practices I share, align with the biblical  fruit of the spirit, which states:

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. (Galatians 5: 22-23).

Third, as of next week, I will begin to share some easy to apply processes from Me and Napoleon Hill, with the intention of building people up as high as they want to go.

For now, I repeat this truth.

Success requires focusing your actions on aiming to go somewhere, to do something.

What do you say you are aiming for?  How do your committed and consistent actions confirm this?

Loving the Cycle You’re In

cycles of lifeThroughout our lifetime, each of us goes through various different cycles. For example, there is the cycle of playing or fun as we see in youth or children, or other cycles such as learning, prosperity, struggle and healing. Many would say that some of these cycles are good and some are bad. I say all cycles are good, and the seemingly bad cycles may in fact be the best times of our lives.

Since my stroke in 2007, I have been going through the cycles of struggle and healing.  Though this journey has often been painful, fearful, lonely and impoverished, it has also been the most beneficial of my life.  I am talking specifically about the amazing spiritual shifts I continuously make.

This past week I realized that in my effort to see things as positive, I was not living my life in full embrace of my financial reality. That is to say, as a result of the stroke, my bank account was depleted. Furthermore, since my work benefits ran out, I was forced to go on government disability, which pretty much puts me below the poverty level. My biggest lesson was in pretending that I was still living a normal middle-class lifestyle. I needed to accept and embrace my reality, in order to escape my own perception of being in a shameful cycle of poverty.

Only recently did I become aware that I no longer needed to pretend or run away from shame. I realized that if it weren’t for my poverty, I would not have worked so hard in the development of creative ways for people to have access to the information, support and inspiration they need to live well and go after what they want most in life.

My hope is that my current cycle of healing will take me through poverty to prosperity. However, while I am still on the journey, I will love the many opportunities it provides to grow myself and the world.

Do you love the cycle you are in?

We All Need Healing

healingWe all need the type of healing that shuts down our demons, and stops us from doing and saying things we often regret.

I gave a former boss a ‘two out of five’ on an evaluation, because I couldn’t stand her. She had a personality that rubbed me the wrong way, but that was no reason to say she stunk at her job. In fact, she was better than me in many areas; and that was theThumbs up smiley problem. She threatened my erroneous ‘I’m the best’ perception of myself. So, Instead of complementing her, by showing my strength in areas where she was weak, such as inter-personal skills, I became the very opposite of the good I choose to be.

I had no idea I was still carrying the hurt that resulted from past experiences. I felt tossed aside due to such experiences as my family’s glorification of my sister’s beauty, my mother’s  expressed dislike of my sometimes extroverted personality, a teacher’s prejudiced remarks, or a boss who overlooked me for a promotion.

Unbeknown to me, my negative experiences were actually offering me the opportunity to ‘be love,’ to be the very best of me.  Today, I am grateful for those situations that caused me to feel defeated and tossed aside. They taught me that the most beautiful, inviting and successful person I could ever be is one who is overcome by a force of love for others and the world.

No matter what bad seems to show up, I invite you to keep shining love on it; for sooner or later you will see the good that waits.

What is the thing in you that needs healing? This could be lack of self-confidence, resentment, inability to forgive, and much more. What do you think would happen when you consistently shine love on it?