Tag Archives: cooperation

International Day of Happiness

whdToday, March 20, is the International Day of Happiness.

Enjoy the World Happiness Playlist created by John Legend, Ed Sheeran, Cody Simpson, David Guetta, James Blunt and Charlize Theron in collaboration with the United Nations. Watch the video they created below, and share it with your world. Take a moment to dance, laugh, or just connect with another.

Happy International Happiness Day to all.

Making People Wrong

wrongYesterday, I made some people wrong and I am glad I did it!

It started with my niece. I was in a store and tried on a beautiful pair of brown flats. I liked it, but I did not want to buy it. My niece said “I like it better than the ones you are wearing.”

When she said that, I felt really hurt, and became self-conscious. I was wearing a pair of sandals, which not only does a good job of helping me walk with my disability, I love it. So I told my niece that her comments were hurtful. Unfortunately, my making her wrong only served to make the air between us as thick as mud.

Later that day, I listened as a family friend chastised my unmarried brothers, for not giving my mother any grand kids. Like a ferocious predator, I jumped into the conversation and blasted him for not mentioning what I believe should come before kids, which is marriage or a committed relationship. That brought us into a long discourse of making each other wrong.

As a result of these incidents, I have decided to make people right. The alternative is to make people wrong, which kills off loving conversations and friendships in a world where building strong relationships are essential to personal happiness and successful living.

If I had a do-over with my niece, I would say “I like the shoes too but it’s not feasible for me to buy it right now. With your fashion sense, perhaps you can show me how to make my sandals work better with my wardrobe.”

With individuals like my family friend, I will work on keeping my mouth shut, so I can appreciate the value of what they are saying. If I add anything, it would be to ask a question, such as: “where do you think marriage and commitment fit with having kids.”

I used this more positive way of being today. On my way to the gym, my Mobility driver took me 30 minutes out-of-the-way to drop someone off. In my head, I was drafting the complaint letter I would write to York Region Transit, and I was ready to mouth-off to the driver. Then my heart said ‘make people right’. So I emptied my mind, kept my mouth shut, and gave thanks for my ride. As a result, I had the most uplifting spiritual conversation with the driver.

‘Making people right’ works!

Why Are Able-bodied People So Mean?

Each week I  volunteer to serve stroke patients at Mackenzie Hospital. Though I truly appreciate this work, I get a little dis-heartened the mornings I walk into a room of physiotherapist and occupational therapists. In this room filled with 6 or 7 people, I can find but one pair of eyes to genuinely acknowledge my smile or my presence. I can find but another one or two faces to share a glance or a word that welcomes me into the room.

I walk out, a little less bubbly than I walked in. I then walk into a room with one or a group of elderly patients. I expect to be greeted with smiles and love, and I am rarely disappointed.

What Does it Mean When the Strong and Able-Bodied Lack Friendliness

Does this mean that many, who are so strong and able-bodied, are so preoccupied with themselves that they appear inconsiderate and mean! Maybe; or maybe it means something else. Perhaps it means that more often than I would like to admit, my expectations for the seemingly strong and able-bodied are too low, my compassion invisible, my smile barely noticeable.

Expect Good and You Will Create Good – Expect Bad and You Will Create Bad

With my expectations, I create my reality. Have I been helping to create a disadvantaged character of meanness for those who appear to be stronger, more able bodied than me? Can I not see that in many ways they are like me?

Though I flash a quick smile, I quickly hold my head down in worry about my disadvantages, leaving little time for them to see my disappearing smile. With my thoughts caught up in my must-do’s or challenges, I cannot notice their own preoccupations and needs. I do not let them know that I care a little about them. No wonder they live up to my low expectations. I am likely living up to theirs.

Change Your Perception – Change Your Relationships

I must change my stereotypes of those who are different from me. When I see others as mean, I limit the possibility of us uplifting, working or doing business together. When I see others as kind, I wait for and encourage their positive response to my greetings, to my presence. I open the door to impact, and be impacted by, their achievements.

Try This

I now ask you to reflect on another more pertinent question. What good do you see in those who are different from you, how can you help to bring it out, and how can this impact your achievements? I too will reflect on this, and share what I see.

The Good on the Backside of Super Storm Sandy

This storm was an unfortunate, yet necessary reminder that we are prone to disasters in many ways and many places. Hurricanes, super storms, diseases, and other disasters are conditions of our life on this earth.

These tragedies are like loud speakers, shouting the love that we are to each other, the love that we need to survive. Even those of us who may be hundreds or thousands of miles away from catastrophic happenings, are engulfed by emotions of love, compassion, and hope. This is certainly great good on the backside of this pain.

Situations and times like this bring out the greatness that lives within our spirit. Here are just a few examples:

  • Republicans and democrats laid down their political weapons and armour and opened themselves up to the love, compassion and collective responsibility needed to aid the storm
    ravaged victims and the world.
  • Good Samaritans set up charging stations, so people can charge their phones. Others used their vehicles to transport stranded victim from flooded areas.
  • Across neighbourhoods,  fire-fighters, police officers, and others courageous people put out fires, as well as rescued families and individuals whose homes were being destroyed.
  • In the middle of the furious storm, nurses, emergency management teams and others, courageously evacuated critically ill infants, the elderly, and other patients from hospitals in black-out conditions, including such acts as carrying a small child, who is struggling to breathe, down pitch-black flights of stairs.

We know that such disasters such as Sandy will come again. Perhaps much worse another time. We know also that it is our good that will be our ultimate lifesaver.

Getting Buy-In for your Passion

I am as passionate about people using technology to serve others and access services remotely, as I am about the beauty and healing of yellow roses. I can get people to buy into the awesomeness of yellow roses, but getting people excited about my other passions is another story.

I was at a leadership meeting for an organization recently, and was all prepared to demonstrate and show the awesome value of remote participation. I mentioned my passion to three colleagues sitting near me, with emphasis on how this would benefit the organization’s need for volunteers.

One lady responded in a seemingly assertive voice and negative manner, saying that a lot of individuals do not have computers, and would not value remote participation. Those few words squashed any further desire for me to share my passion.

Was this woman the ‘awful passion buster’ I described or was the problem me? It was me. My insecurities were triggered, and I could not seize the opportunity to truly get buy-in for my passion.

I saw opposition because deep down, that is what I expected. Once my trigger shows up (in this case loud, aggressive speaking that does not support my idea), I think people are going to oppose me, so no matter what happens, I see opposition.

Consider that all I heard was a perspective, with no definitively declared opposition! What if I had just listened without judgement, acknowledge the truth in what was spoken, then offer some other truth in a complementary way? For example, what if I had said:  ‘good point – do you think it would be better if emphasis is placed on those who have the technology to volunteer remotely?’ If I asked such a question, would the discussion have turned out differently? I think so. Especially because I would be expecting a positive response, and that is what I would work to get.

The point is, people need to tell us how they see the value of our passion; it’s a more difficult road when we try to tell them. To get them to tell us, we must arm ourselves with questions that others are likely to respond to in a positive way. This, of course, does not include situations in which there is complete opposition, i.e. someone who absolutely hates roses. In that case, it’s a good idea to just keep our mouth shut.

Luckily, there are many other chances to get buy-in for our passion. At least this time, I was reminded to watch out for my triggers, oppose no one, and let them tell me the value of what I have to offer.

Now, will you help me learn further about my passion? If you work remotely (i.e. from home) what is the value? If you do not and would like to, why? If you do not and are not interested, why not?

Web-Conferencing Can Give You New Life

When a misfortune in life left me barely mobile and unable to work, I found a way to get back in the game. I attended and lead seminars, participated in meetings, and served on leadership committees – all from the comforts of my home. Web-conferencing brought me back to life.

I know now that team learning, serving, and collaboration are never out of our reach, even when we think we are alone and there is no hope of finding the collaboration we need. No matter where we are, as long as we can touch a keyboard, speak into a computer microphone, or share ourselves through a webcam, the world is our partner.

In the next two months, I will be collaborating with subject matter experts to offer various programs, that can be accessible wherever we are, via web-conferencing. I would love to know some things you would like information about or training in – and you would like to do so from the location of your choice. In addition, these are things which are so important to you that you would pay a reasonable fee for the information or training.

Please share your comments in the section which follows this blog.

When Others Frustrate You – The Gift

The faults I see in others are a reflection of my own being, giving me a chance to see myself.

As I ready myself for this year’s experience and facilitation of the International Black Summit (Summit) in Alabama, I find myself increasingly passionate about what I want to give the world. With all this passion jumping around inside my body, I was really excited about participating on a teleconference, led by Kat, a Summit facilitator who for me is the epitome of world class facilitation.

Unfortunately, I have not been able to access the conference calls, due to a block by my Canadian telephone service provider. So, like an unthinking bull dog, I took to my keyboard and barked my dissatisfaction to all facilitators.

Here are the snarky thoughts, which were plaguing me. “‘They (meaning my American counterparts) are excluding others. They need to come up with a conference number that works for the world, if they want the world to be a part of their organization!” Once I recognized this segregating thought and its ugliness, I was able to recognize my exclusion of others.

One thing I became conscious of through the Summit, is that when I begin to pull my hair out because of frustration with a fault I think I see in someone else, that fault is in ME. Therefore the question for me was:  ‘how and where have I been excluding others in my life.’

The answer is, I had separated myself  by speaking of the inability to access the conference call as a Dawn problem as opposed to a Summit opportunity. In addition, I was passionate about accessing a learning opportunity, from which I felt blocked; as a result, my sharply critical and blaming communications came off like a skunk, and drove others away.

With this new insight percolating inside me, I spoke to a representative from the March of Dimes (MOD) about possibilities for using web conferencing to enhance MOD’s employment and peer-support programs. My focus was on working with others at MOD to enhance their existing programs. It was not about me, and it was an optimistic and inclusive conversation. The representative shared what they were up to regarding virtual support, gave me 3 contact names with emails, and asked me to keep her informed.

Already different things are starting to show up in my life. For the 2013 Summit, I am declaring my commitment to working with other facilitators to ensure the Summit’s communication efforts are accessible internationally.  I have no problem. We have an opportunity.

What about you? Is there something you are finding fault with or complaining about? Ask yourself if that fault or issue is within you? Don’t answer quickly. Take time to reflect; a day or more if you need to. What do you see? What is the opportunity?


Find Your Own Way To Be

In work and life, how do you deal with the people and situations who just rub you the wrong way? Being silent, grinning and bearing aren’t going to cut it; because whether we realize it or not, people can tell when we are being like hypocritical politicians.

The other day I was on a leadership call for the planning of an annual event for this summer. About 14 people were on the call; and I must admit, it was somewhat of an irritating experience. As usual, the ones with biggest mouths took control and spoke way too long. In addition, the way the call was facilitated, I felt I could not share what I wanted. So I became lost in the noise of my silent complaints.

After the call, I asked myself  how do people share what they need to share, when they feel like silent puppies among others who are constantly barking?  My answer – I go inside myself and I find a way to deliver my message so that others can hear it. In this case, I would write it down in the most graphic and compelling way I know. I have done so in the past and generally get the attention and feedback I needed.

The next time you encounter people and situations that rub you the wrong way, remember there is no right way for everyone be – just your way, my way and everyone’s way. Don’t judge my way, or I might just cut off your head (not literally), and will be less inclined to see your talents and support you.

Just find a way to show your genuine and most powerful way of getting your point across, given the situation. You can talk, write, draw, or whatever speaks you. Just be and let others be!

Getting Expert On-line Marketing Expertise for Cheap

No one ever achieved great wealth in business without co-operation. So if we want to be successful, including earning a lot of money, we need to work on  something great together.

In the following presentation, I would like to share with you an intriguing collaborative idea. If you are like me and you feel the urgency of developing your on-line presence, you may find my idea compelling. I would love to get your feedback.

This idea was inspired in my writing of Chapter 13 on Cooperation, in  Law of Success. I have lots more to share on this topic.