Tag Archives: new normal

Living Well

If I work hard, so that I may live well, when do I stop working hard and start living well?

The answer is never! To live well, I do not have to work hard! Instead, I must live a life filled with love, healing and prosperity. And that is a function of the mind and the spirit.

As a result of my brain injury, I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that the key to living well is thinking well or thinking good thoughts; even when I am faced with the most seemingly dismal situation! For example, I get terrible headaches and very uncomfortable, needle like sensations in my right leg, whenever I think too much or I think negative thoughts.

Therefore whenever I want to get mad at my daughter for something she did, I am reminded to find a positive way to teach her, or get ready for pain. Whenever I start thinking too hard, trying to find a solution, I am reminded to “let go let God,” or feel the pain, pain, pain.

Since much of my day is spent thinking, or unknowingly saying things in uninspiring ways, you can imagine the impact of shutting down this negativity. This unexplainable happiness truly is what it is to live well!

Motivating Through Loved-Based Conversations

When I do friendly visits at the hospital,I often see two patients (to maintain confidentiality I will call them Mrs. V and Mrs. L). I estimate that they are in their early 70’s. I have seem them cry sobbing tears as they come to terms with the devastating stroke, which took them from their former strength and independence, to paralysis and total dependence on others.

To motivate Mrs. V and Mrs. L, I engage them in what I call love-based conversations. When I push their wheelchairs or sit with them, we share life stories that are filled with hope and optimism. When we talk of the stroke, I share my own long ordeal, and the hope that lead to miraculous healing, especially of my heart. I point out that they too are likely on a long road, which can be brightened with positive energy and hope. No one knows where that road will carry them. Yet in that moment, that road has brought me to them, and it is my sincere pleasure to learn from them and spend a little time with them.

I have also looked on the saddened faces of the daughters of Mrs. V and Mrs. L, as they struggle with their own desire to see their mother as she once was. As I compassionately make myself a listening for their frustrations, I hear one daughter, or another, say such things such as:

‘She just won’t try. I am trying to help, but she won’t listen. She doesn’t understand that she can’t come home, for she can’t do anything for herself. She needs to be some place, where they have people to work with her, to help her get better. She is angry. I am so stressed.

I have compassion for these daughters, who loyally visit, and want so much to motivate their mothers to get better. I say to them:

Your mother is now experiencing a new normal. Give her the love and compassion she needs to create whatever possibilities the future desires. Do not hold her in comparison to a past that is no more. The paralysis, tears, and the anger are parts of her healing. Try not to be frustrated with her for this, just compassionately be with her. Make an effort to let go of any frustration that may prevent you from giving the hugs, the laughter, and the hope that can motivate your mother to find and hold on to the hope she needs.

The daughters hear, but it is hard for them to listen to more than their pain, to see more than the physical reality. The mothers, on the other hand, have no choice but to see and hear more that what appears real, for their healing is unseen. When they engage in loved-based conversations, they can see a more hopeful possibility for themselves.

In the few weeks I have been there, daughters of both families have told me how much my visits mean to their mothers. Even when I am not there, I know the impact remains. Mrs. V pastes my name on the side of her tissue box. Mrs. L always wants to know where I was, indicating that she misses me on the days I am not there. As long as our love-based conversations remain in their minds, I pray they receive the continued hope and motivation they so yearn for.

What Was Whitney’s Life Purpose

A critical message of Whitney’s life: Be wary of choices that will spoil the great gift we are to this world.

We all come to this earth to do something, to say something, to be something. Whitney gave us beautiful music, but more importantly she gave us a serious life lesson. The lesson involves but is not about drugs and bad company. The lesson is about conscious choice.

Why did Whitney choose to marry Bobby Brown and get into drugs, choices that will forever cloud her legacy. We can’t assume that everything was great for her in the beginning, just because she was beautiful, had an amazing singing voice, and belonged to a prestigious family. Perhaps, from the first time we discovered her, she like an outwardly calm teenager, was searching for a high, searching for crazy fun to release her pain or her wild side.

I believe something was in her that drew her in the direction of hell, and I don’t think she was conscious of it. We rarely are. The best way to raise our consciousness is to look up, as per the title of last album, ‘I Look to You‘.

Whitney said that she was just like Bobby. Maybe the thing to do was not to convince her, the world, or ourselves that she was different. Maybe the thing to do was to accept her, without degrading her or Bobby, and to show her complete love regardless of her choices. From that space of love, perhaps we could have helped her become conscious to her issues and her needs, much earlier. And if she in fact truly craved the desire to be high, she could accept help with finding a new normal, a new way of being that would give a new high on life, while accentuating her talented and joyful legacy.

Do You Need a New Normal to Get What You Want?

What goal or dream do you want to achieve? Will it manifest or fit within your current environment or way of being? Or do you have to create a new normal?

Four years ago, while speaking to me about dealing with my disability after stroke, a social worker said “This is your new normal.” Did this mean that my new normal was paralysis and disability, as well as inability to work, date, dance, etc.? At that time, yes it did! But by seeing and accepting this new normal, I was able to achieve the great goal of healing that God intended for me.

If you have a business, career or life goal, or dream that you would like to achieve, you will find the greatest hope by focusing on seeing or developing the new normal that will lead to the realization of your goal. For example, a friend of mine is in the process of launching a new business. When she heard about the new normal, she began to focus on developing training for her partners to support the success of her business.

Do you need to see the new normal for the realization of your goal or dream? In next week’s article, I will provide a more practical discussion about how you find or create your new normal, and how this will produce extraordinary results in achieving your business or career goals.