Tag Archives: people skills

Success: Killing the Hurricanes in Our Lives

Since I started working again (following the Stroke) stuff has been flying at me like rubble in a hurricane.  But I am not running anymore, because it is not the hurricane around me that is causing my pain, it is really where I am and how I am standing.

Creating a Hurricane in My Mind

One of my most recent hurricanes was caused by an employer (let’s call him Bill) who I believe did not want to pay me after I put a lot of time into completing a job. So I created a hurricane in my mind and he was the source. The thoughts flared angrily in my head.

I am not just going to sit back and take this! I am not going to hold on to this emotion, and let it boil up, until I implode with a stroke! I have to let it out, even if it gets ugly!

So, I sent an unprofessional and hurtful email, blasting Bill and his team for what they were doing to me. They would receive my tirade of lashings, for all the people in the past that took advantage of me and treated me unfairly. The problem is my tirade backfired, for I felt so sick inside. I felt as though I would have another stroke.

Recognize the Source of What is Killing You

It was not until I began to notice that it didn’t matter whether I held my anger in or blast it out, I could never address it unless I look from or stand in another place. It is a place that allowed me to see inside myself. I saw my childhood conversations about ‘not being good enough,’ and the childhood experiences which reinforced them. The conversation is so powerful, that it lies quietly inside me like a still and weak hurricane, just waiting for the right winds to set off; the perfect wind (like Bill) to blame for its strength.

The Deception of Frustration

I am normally aware of my ‘not enough’ conversation, and for the most part, it usually cannot hold me back. That is, until I am caught off guard, not realizing that I am frustrated and standing in a place where I am looking outside of myself. Then it can squash me like a hurricane squashes a home, leaving only unrecognizable sticks.

Finding Success in the Midst of My Tirade

However, it will not squash me, as long as I get to a place where I see I am the source of the hurricanes in my life. I reached that place after a couple of days in my personal tirade with Bill. But I had to see the real possibility of killing myself with my own mind, before I could realize that I was the problem. Bill may be pissed off at me for a while, for my tongue can be mightier that a sword. Still, I thank him for being a part of the experience, that enabled me to stand in a place of strength, knowing I have the power to kill all hurricanes that come at me; for they start in my own mind.  Kill those hurricane and we kill anything that stands in the way of our success.

Being Black in Canada: I Just Don’t Want To Be Scared Anymore

I am to Blame for the Problems Faced by Blacks in Our Society

It breaks my heart whenever I wake up on a bright Toronto morning, to hear:

International Black Summit, Chicago, August 4-7, 2011
  • another black man has been murdered
  • black youth are dropping out of school
  • blacks are among the lowest on the country’s socio economic ladder
  • blacks are fighting the powers that be for injustices they believe have being done to them
Everyone seems to be getting their share of the blame for our problems. One thing I know for sure, I am to blame. I am to blame for I have let fear hold me back from my full potential. I have let fear block my ability to give all that is within me, to demonstrate who I truly am, who we truly are. I’ve been:
  • scared to stand up and speak to my race, about our personal responsibility, for fear they will dislike me
  • scared to speak up in mainstream society, for fear I will lose my job, or be scorned in some way
  • scared to come of like other perceived activists and trouble makers
  • scared to face the thoughts that I will be nothing, if I do not cooperate and conform
  • scared to confront forces that I believed could make me nothing
  • scared of whatever negative I feel will happen, if I show a special love for the development of my race

Not any more! I just don’t want to be scared anymore. I don’t have to be. I have accepted a lie about my weak, fragile and powerless self. By ourselves, I believe that is true. Yet, there is another reality.

The International Black Summit: Finding an Empowering Reality

We can achieve anything that is within us, if we connect to the right people and focus on the divine energy which empowers us.

It is this connection that drew me to the International Black Summit, which has an annual event, focused on enabling participants to fulfill their visions for the black community and the world. Imagine black community leaders, professionals, and others from around the globe coming together and reciting the following declaration at the beginning of an event:

WE DECLARE ourselves, our community and all communities whole and complete. There is nothing to do except be.

WE ASSERT that we are responsible for generating community as possibility and distinction. We listen for and grant being to the possibility and creation of unpredictable results. Our conversation of, about, and for those of African descent is one of power, self generation, abundance, responsibility, unity and integrity, with the possibility of being.

WE STAND for the expression of our spirituality; ending the murders of our men, women and children; building economies responsible for funding our community; maintaining wellness of being in our bodies; providing human services; establishing nurturing relationships; altering the conversation of who we are in the media; empowering our youth.

WE DECLARE that our community manifest itself in the world as a contribution in the transformation of the universe.

Atlanta, Georgia October 7, 1991

Now that’s a declaration I can live with and live into! I try to attend International Black Summit events every year, and I am hoping to be in Chicago, this year for August 4-7 event.  If you are of black African origin and you wish to further empower yourself to be the change you want to see in the world, I invite you to join me in Chicago. You can get more information at the International Black Summit website. If you cannot attend, but would like to participate virtually, let me know or just send an email to info@blacksummit.org.

Becoming a Success Warrior

What is it to be a success warrior? It is the willingness to fight for our success. It is standing forcefully and strong for the realization of all that is within us. In this blog, I introduce to you Nudaan Learning Center (Nudaan), an information and training vehicle for those, like me, who choose to be success warriors, who choose to be more than the ordinary. At the end of this post, I offer a free live web-based training for those who have a goal you would like to achieve.

Choose to be more is the motto for Nudaan Learning Center, a training initiative focused on helping people be the best that they can be. I call myself a success warrior, for I have fought many demons within myself to achieve many goals, some of which have been monumental.

Training to Succeed

I developed Nudaan Learning Center to train people via the web, to hone the skills that accelerate their success in the achievement of their goals, and defeat the things that slow them down. I will share much with you here. But perhaps most important, you can access, live training, via the web. All you need is a computer and fortitude.

Learn People Skills for Success In Today’s Economy

Nudaan Learning Center is based on a program I developed, called “people skills for success in today economy”. It covers skills such as confidence, speaking, writing, relationship building, interpersonal relations and other skills we need to battle for our success, in a world where we are our greatest opponents. With Nudaan, we can choose to be more than our limitations; we can choose to be all that we are inside.

As our first initiative, I am offering a free program called “Achieving Our Goals: It’s a People Skill.” This is more of a group coaching program, and is based on achieving practical results. Participants must have a short-term goal they would like, and be willing to work to achieve. You must also be able to devote one hour a week for a group coaching and accountability session. The dates and time will be determined at the end of June, once participants are selected.

How I Became A Success Warrior

The program was conceived following a detrimental stroke, which I suffered 4 years ago. Medical practitioners could do nothing but prepare me for living with severe long-term disability, and never working again. Facing this possibility, I looked inside myself and saw the wherewithal to work and thrive again. I saw what only my soul could see; that with true commitment and effort, I could be better than I ever was. Today, I still have visible physical disability, but inside where it counts I am better (more successful in the achievement of my goals) than I ever was. I found the answer to being all that I can be, and I have developed a program to help others find that answer for themselves.

Taking a Road You Have Never Taken Before

Taking on something that you have never done before, can be like driving on a narrow, dark and curvy road, unable to see what is around the corner. It can be rather scary. For many, this is like doing business and socializing on the web. We feel we must travel on a road where we cannot be sure where it leads.

Taking the road to LinkedIn

I initially felt that way about LinkedIn, and came up with countless excuses why I could not get an account, build my profile, join a group, or build a group. Yet what was around the corner for me was the opportunity to connect, build relations, and market my services. Still LinkedIn was a bit intimidating, because it’s new and I was scared of looking bad.

Sometimes you have to look bad to look good. Looking bad is really about how we see ourselves. I saw myself as not good enough to go on LinkedIn. My resume was not ready, my website was not ready, my blog was not ready and the excuses went on.

What I Could Not See or Do Before

My excuses would not go away. So I had to feel the fear and take that road to where I cannot see, to places I have never gone before. After taking the leap, my perfectionist self, will tell you that my profile is yucky. However, my sensible self, will remind me that I am now connected with some great people, I know how to include Slideshare and Box.net files, and I know how to build LinkedIn groups well enough to get paid doing it.

LinkedIn is a social media site for professionals and businesses, who want to increase or maintain their visibility. If you are not on, get on! If you are on, join a group, start a group, or post some useful information. Just start using this incredible networking resource.

We are in the days and times when we have to take roads that we have never taken before, if we want to keep moving. Do you have a road you need to take to keep moving? What is stopping you?

What Are You Better At Than Anyone Else

Your Unique Area of Success

What is it that makes us throw up our hands to the heavens, joyously celebrating success? What does personal success look like for you? What does it feel like?

Ralph Waldo Emerson’s wrote:

If a man has good corn, or wood, or boards, or pigs to sell, or can make better chairs or knives, crucibles, or church organs, than anybody else, you will find a broad, hard-beaten road to his house, though it be in the woods.

Success is sharing, and impacting the world with that one thing that you do better than anyone else. For me, that unique thing comes from seeing, feeling, knowing, and communicating the good in our unique struggles. I look back at the last 4 years since my stroke, and see amazing perseverance, while looking daily at invisible hope, even when it took more than a year to see visible healing. I feel extraordinary joy, and unique success, from inspiring others to find the area in which they are better than anyone else, and seeing good in the struggles that enable them to be successful.

Struggle and Being Better Than Anyone Else

Many of us do not embrace the area in which we are most gifted, because we are looking for the easiest ways to make money; often doing things that we may be good at, but which are not in the areas of our unique strength. We try to avoid unavoidable struggle. Though struggle is the source of our success. Embracing our struggle on the way to our success requires faith, working hard, and great investment of time. This is where we experience true and exhilarated success.

What is your unique area of success? What are you better at than anyone else? What are you so good at that in Emerson’s words, ‘people will beat down the road to your house?’ How do you know?

Can You Sell Yourself Like Hines Ward?

This year’s Dancing With The Stars (DWTS) winner, Hines Ward, demonstrated just how far you can get, by being good with people.

It wasn’t just his great dancing skills that gave the recent Super Bowl MVP, the Mirror Ball Trophy. Hines did it by selling his confident and relaxed way of being, showing off his absolutely phenomenal people skills.

Hines was the best at selling us on the idea that he is the best. Here is what we can all learn about great people skills from Hines.

  • He was confident. He made errors, but wasn’t thrown off by them. He took on his dances like he was playing a football game to get to the Super Bowl.
  • He showed his ability to lead. He effortlessly lifted his partner high in the air, and took the lead in dances with his partner (though she was the professional dancer).
  • He worked hard to do what it took to win. He took risks, relished in practising long and hard, and persuaded us that he deserved to win.
  • He demonstrated an inviting personality. His smile seemed to brighten up the room, making many of us look forward to seeing him on camera, and the magical friendship he seemed to have with his partner.
  • He was inspiring and caring. He shed joyful tears for his partner, Kym, when she came back from a potentially very serious shoulder injury.
  • He effectively spoke his message. He clearly and eloquently communicated to the world. He expressed his appreciation for the opportunity to compete, the constructive criticism from the judges, the teaching of his partner, winning the trophy,  and the support from fans.

He totally sold me, and it looks like he sold a lot of others. He proved that we can be great at anything, but it is the ability to communicate effectively, to sell others on what we have to offer, that can reap the greatest rewards.