Tag Archives: self-confidence

Seeing Our Slip-Ups As Instruments of God

This morning I had the privilege of doing the welcome for my church, attended by a very diverse congregation. I was praising God for everything, starting with a beautiful snowy day. When I came to praising God for Black History Month, the words suddenly disappeared from my mind leaving a big hole. No matter how I tried, I could not retrieve them. Members of the congregation said the words for me. Then I was able to say them for myself, and finish my praising with a couple more slip-ups along the way.

Of course, I beat myself up, even though I know that our life is about accepting how imperfect we are, and seeing that out of that imperfection comes the perfect result. My memory lapse and the interjection of the congregation actually enabled better focus on Black History Month, better than I could have done, had I not forgotten.

Still, I was invisibly worried that my black colleagues would think bad of me for such a mistake. Fortunately, my spirit reminded me that if anyone (including myself) thinks less of me, it may be a great opportunity for them to see their own superficial, judgemental and unforgiving ways. Such a great opportunity does not come, if not revealed by some imperfection.

There is one final and perhaps most critical blessing that I got out of all this. Deep down, I didn’t want to include Black History Month in the welcome. I love my blackness and many would say I am more Afro-centric than the average black Canadian or American. However, I did not think it belonged in the welcome. Why I felt this way is not important. What is important could be the probable attempt of my spirit to stop me from saying anything that was not truly in my heart.

I need to remember all this, in order to have God truly use me.

What about you, do you see the blessings in your slip-ups?

New Year’s Blessings

Below is a wonderful piece I offer  to inspire your success throughout 2014 and beyond. It was provided by Napoleon Hill and included in my upcoming book (availability postponed to early 2014).

Believe

Thank you for supporting my blog, and giving me energy I need to keep striving for the best of me. Have a blessed Christmas and a most prosperous new year.

Succeeding Doing What We Love

If we have access to a truckload of information on how to be successful, why is it that most of us can’t find success doing what we love in life? Thus we spend our life working to create gigantic success for other people. I did it because I found security in the dreams and businesses of others more than I did in myself.

A Way to Shift Focus to Doing What We Love

Fortunately, as a result of my stroke, I gained access to some divine power inside me and I suddenly found the drive to go after and achieve what I really wanted. If that wasn’t enough, I discovered that my new found thoughts and actions for achieving what I wanted most in life was outlined in Napoleon Hill’s Law of Success! I simplified the process (as shown below), and created a formulae, which is the subject of my upcoming book and a course, both of which will be available early in 2014.

LOS-chart2

A Process for Success in 16 weeks

The course, which I have designed, based on my 20 years of experience as a corporate trainer, will be available as a promotion in January. It will be a live virtual course, lasting 16-weeks, for 2 hours each week. To participate, an individual must have some great success that he or she wants to achieve, such as making money doing what he or she loves. If one is accepted as the right fit for the program, he or she will be instructed on each law of success, and held accountable for following through on various related exercises. He/she will also have access to the contributions of the 9 other participants, and will be teamed with one other person for added motivation. As this is a promotion, the cost of the course is only $100 for the 16 weeks. All participants who do what is required are guaranteed to reach their goal or make dramatic progress towards it.

This is a rather unique course. I would love to hear your thoughts and respond to any questions.

Loving the Cycle You’re In

cycles of lifeThroughout our lifetime, each of us goes through various different cycles. For example, there is the cycle of playing or fun as we see in youth or children, or other cycles such as learning, prosperity, struggle and healing. Many would say that some of these cycles are good and some are bad. I say all cycles are good, and the seemingly bad cycles may in fact be the best times of our lives.

Since my stroke in 2007, I have been going through the cycles of struggle and healing.  Though this journey has often been painful, fearful, lonely and impoverished, it has also been the most beneficial of my life.  I am talking specifically about the amazing spiritual shifts I continuously make.

This past week I realized that in my effort to see things as positive, I was not living my life in full embrace of my financial reality. That is to say, as a result of the stroke, my bank account was depleted. Furthermore, since my work benefits ran out, I was forced to go on government disability, which pretty much puts me below the poverty level. My biggest lesson was in pretending that I was still living a normal middle-class lifestyle. I needed to accept and embrace my reality, in order to escape my own perception of being in a shameful cycle of poverty.

Only recently did I become aware that I no longer needed to pretend or run away from shame. I realized that if it weren’t for my poverty, I would not have worked so hard in the development of creative ways for people to have access to the information, support and inspiration they need to live well and go after what they want most in life.

My hope is that my current cycle of healing will take me through poverty to prosperity. However, while I am still on the journey, I will love the many opportunities it provides to grow myself and the world.

Do you love the cycle you are in?

We All Need Healing

healingWe all need the type of healing that shuts down our demons, and stops us from doing and saying things we often regret.

I gave a former boss a ‘two out of five’ on an evaluation, because I couldn’t stand her. She had a personality that rubbed me the wrong way, but that was no reason to say she stunk at her job. In fact, she was better than me in many areas; and that was theThumbs up smiley problem. She threatened my erroneous ‘I’m the best’ perception of myself. So, Instead of complementing her, by showing my strength in areas where she was weak, such as inter-personal skills, I became the very opposite of the good I choose to be.

I had no idea I was still carrying the hurt that resulted from past experiences. I felt tossed aside due to such experiences as my family’s glorification of my sister’s beauty, my mother’s  expressed dislike of my sometimes extroverted personality, a teacher’s prejudiced remarks, or a boss who overlooked me for a promotion.

Unbeknown to me, my negative experiences were actually offering me the opportunity to ‘be love,’ to be the very best of me.  Today, I am grateful for those situations that caused me to feel defeated and tossed aside. They taught me that the most beautiful, inviting and successful person I could ever be is one who is overcome by a force of love for others and the world.

No matter what bad seems to show up, I invite you to keep shining love on it; for sooner or later you will see the good that waits.

What is the thing in you that needs healing? This could be lack of self-confidence, resentment, inability to forgive, and much more. What do you think would happen when you consistently shine love on it?

Exposing the Authentic Me

I can now say without a doubt that the greatest prejudice against me comes from me! I had it in my head that organizations would not hire me and men would not want to go out with me, once they know about my stroke!

There are two main problems with this. First, these thoughts are coming from within me! If I think that way, there is little doubt that my experiences will support my thinking. Second, because of my own prejudice against my stroke, I spent a lot of time trying to prove I have not lost some level of my former abilities. That is a lie! Enough with defending what I was, what I am no more!!!

I say without pain, that I cannot do certain things as well as I used to, such as public speaking without adequate notes. Instead, I have been forever transformed into the stoke-blessed-me, the authentic me! Here I find, a new found specialness.  I can speak more powerfully than ever before, on the right topic and with sufficient preparation. Moreover, I passionately write, I innovate, I find creative solutions, and I am more committed to whatever I take on!

This is the authentic me, the stroke survivor. I am ready to expose her to, to share her with, the world. Here is a piece I was moved to write in celebration of our authentic selves.

Introducing the Authentic Me

Confidence in Our Health and Beauty

ellipticalYesterday I was in the gym working hard on the elliptical machine. Like a Duracell battery, I was full of energy, moving my arms and legs joyously back and forth to the positive reggae music, which was piping through my ear phones.

A guy, who I have not seen for a long time, appeared in front of my machine. With a bright and friendly smile, he said:

I haven’t seen you for a while. You must be coming at a different time. Are you completely better now?

It was a question, but he spoke as though there could be nothing but an affirmative answer. He wanted to know if my limp, and all signs of my disability, that he had seen slowly improve for several years, had finally, or almost completely, disappeared. The question, which I get quite often, triggered my uptight self, and made want to say to him:

I was well the last time you saw me and I am still well. My physical disability remains, and it may or may not go away. Yet I am in as great emotional and physical health as I could ever ask for, able-bodied or not.

My cheeky self wanted to say that, but instead my more God-centred self just smiled as I nodded my head cautiously, to indicate there was some progress, and I was happy. He lingered a minute to chit chat; then off he went , jogging away as happy as a lark.

Why did I choose to respond the way I did?

The guy meant only to be friendly, and bombarding him with my hang-ups would have been a certain buzz-killer. I am the main person that needs to know and be happy with how well I am in the moment; for it is this knowing that pulls people to me and projects a vision of wellness. I am not perfectly able-bodied and I am wonderfully well!

Finding Our Way

I felt like I  had been run over by a bulldozer, when my doctor wrote that I was permanently disabled and unable to work. I could not accept that I may never again be a corporate trainer, never again able to help people.

It took some time for me to see that if we look at things as they truly are, not as they used to be or as we would like them to be, we can see the gift that is being given to us.

Once I opened my eyes to see what surrounded me, I saw the computers. I looked closer and saw that the Internet was growing with applications that would enable me to contribute to any person and any organization, from anywhere. I had found my way.

In a couple of months, I will be travelling to Ottawa to be a part of a virtual facilitation team for the 23rd Annual International Black Summit. I will be helping off-site people who cannot get to Ottawa, both able-bodied and physically challenged, participate in this weekend event. Together, we will be focusing on bringing into being our visions for black communities and the world.

To find the way to help people be the best of themselves, I had to be in the present and find my way to myself.

Hearing the Path to the Experiences We Desire

In mystical traditions, it is one’s own readiness that makes experiences exoteric or esoteric. The secret isn’t that you’re not being told. The secret is that you’re not able to hear.

These are the words of Ram Dass. My translation:

When it seems impossible to get what you want, it is not because you are not ready, nor is it because you are not given the information you need. It’s because you are not able to hear the thoughts that tells the path to all that you desire.

I used to think ‘I cannot write as good as the many good writers out there.’ I thought this over and over again, to the extent that I could not hear the buried voice of truth inside me.

“Write,” it said! “Your words convey emotion and touch people’s hearts.”

These thoughts penetrated my ear drums. But would soon be killed by a bombardment of worrisome, insecure thinking.

Today, I spend much time alone and in silence. As a result, I can often hear the gentle whispers of encouragement, pushing me towards writing and other success tools, things which ignite excitement in my gut.

I can finally hear the words “you are love. The pen belongs in your hand.” These words have long been pounding on my deafened ears. I am finally hearing and listening.

Are you hearing and listening to the way to the experiences you desire?

Living Well

If I work hard, so that I may live well, when do I stop working hard and start living well?

The answer is never! To live well, I do not have to work hard! Instead, I must live a life filled with love, healing and prosperity. And that is a function of the mind and the spirit.

As a result of my brain injury, I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that the key to living well is thinking well or thinking good thoughts; even when I am faced with the most seemingly dismal situation! For example, I get terrible headaches and very uncomfortable, needle like sensations in my right leg, whenever I think too much or I think negative thoughts.

Therefore whenever I want to get mad at my daughter for something she did, I am reminded to find a positive way to teach her, or get ready for pain. Whenever I start thinking too hard, trying to find a solution, I am reminded to “let go let God,” or feel the pain, pain, pain.

Since much of my day is spent thinking, or unknowingly saying things in uninspiring ways, you can imagine the impact of shutting down this negativity. This unexplainable happiness truly is what it is to live well!