I have fallen into insignificance! No one, outside of my family and a few friends, really know who I am. Yet I am dying to reveal myself fully to the world.
So I asked why I keep myself hidden behind the invisible shield of niceness. Give away this. Give away that. Agree to do this. Agree to do that. Accommodate, accommodate, accommodate. People will like you, say the deceitful voices in my head.
The problem is that I have been pretending so long, it is not so easy for the ‘fighter in me’ to come out and balance the love in me. But I have no choice, the bottled-up fighter is screaming for freedom. And I better let it out and let hell break loose outside of me, or it will break loose inside of me; it happened once!
This article is about the process I am taking to dig deep inside, get to that place of releasing the fierce and fearless agitator in me, renewing my motivation, revealing myself, and reaching for my destiny.
Tell the ugly truth
Too often, horrible thoughts creep into my head. They rant. Who the hell are you to write about success! So you have been miraculously recovering from a near death stroke, what does that have to do with success?! You have not achieved any career goals, you got fired, you had a stroke and the list goes on! You would do better writing about what you represent, FAILURE!
Is this why I am alone and feeling as powerless as an insect?! I feel greatness within me, but it only comes in glimpses and can’t seem to maintain any momentum.
All that I am left to say, after baring my nakedness in front of strangers, is Heeeeeeeeeelp!
As I sit at my computer writing this article, all I hear is the periodic crackling in the walls of my home. There is not a living soul around. In addition, there in not a person in my mind, who I could reach out to, either by phone or Internet.
I could say heeeeeeeeelp again, but I am done with that. The bottom line is that I have to find a way to encourage myself.
Figure out why these things are happening
I am getting back into the busyness that ruled me before my stroke. I craved acknowledgement. I seemed to want people to see that I am worth something, that I am smart, and that I have so much to give.
Well I am not going to get self-worth and acknowledgement by always doing things, especially the things that are not my passion or my gift. I left that way of being behind with my stroke and there is no way I am going to let my old pre-stroke self creep back into my life.
A main problem is that I am not demonstrating complete faith in the voice I heard in the rehab hospital. The voice that spoke from nowhere, as I woke up one morning. It said loud and clear “share your story with the world.” It’s time to really listen and act.
Determine what you must change
My focus has to be on sharing my fight for success with the world, not 50% or 40% focus but 100% focus. That story has to be none other than distinguishing the voices within us, and knowing the ones to which we must answer, and on which we must base our fight for success. This is one of my chief aims in my second chance at life.
I have been allowing myself to rely on getting back to who I was, the training I used to do for a living. That helped to get me where I am, but it’s now time to believe in that command from spirit. It’s time to seriously enable my light to shine powerfully and never give up the fight for success.
And yes, there is always a fight between the dissenting voices in my head. The negative voice may steer me one way; however the stronger God-inspired voice will steer me in my true direction. That true direction is the one I will fight for. So, I have no choice, but to relentlessly, share my story, my fight for success, with the world.
Reveal your thick skin
I don’t like to tell people who are helping me, taking a program with me, or working with me that they are doing something that is de-motivating me; because deep down I fear they will leave me or not believe in me. That’s silly, right? Maybe not quite silly; because the belief that other people have in us empower us and keeps us going. However, if they leave, that may be for the best. I don’t want to have people around me, who don’t fit with me or believe in me.
It is always good to share ourselves with the world. I find my experiences are never just my own. I hope this article will help you see that there in a blessing in your ugly truths. There is value in sharing your struggle for success. Please do not hesitate to share your own.